


petals of blue

by maliciouskarma



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, One-Sided Attraction, Still Can't Tag, hanahaki!javier, poor javier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:24:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliciouskarma/pseuds/maliciouskarma
Summary: she's tearing him apart from the inside out. she's killing him and she doesn't know.she doesn't realise. she never realises, and he's just a limp corpse with blood pooling around him.





	petals of blue

''hermosa, what's your favourite flower?''

there was a moment of silence before ophelia's eyes begun gleaming, a gentle smile appearing on her face.  
''i love hydrangeas. they're beautiful.''

javier had never been interested, or cared for hydrangeas until ophelia told him it was her favourite flower. he'd spend hours and hours trying to find them, trying to find the right shade of blue for her so that he could pick a boquet for her to bring back to camp. it was a nice gesture. a gesture of love and affection, to which ophelia seemed so blind to.  
her eyes were stuck staring at someone else. 

he didn't think they were special to him until he begun coughing them up, covered in phlegm and blood, itching in his throat. javier didn't know what he was doing, what his body was doing to him. why his body was reacting because she didn't love him back. but how could she? ophelia was gorgeous. beautiful personality, kind and caring. funny, humourous, generous and goofy. beautiful eyes that had javier trapped in a haze. soft lips he longed to kiss, yet he knew it would never happen. he'd never get to pepper sweet kisses all over her face in the mornings, he'd never get to hold her in his lap, singing sweet love songs to her in his native tongue.

all of those things that he wished to do with her, that he wished and wished and wished for. javier loved her, but ophelia didn't love him.  
his entire world broke down when she confessed that she had feelings for someone in camp. javier tried not to cough, almost spewing petals of blue all over her when she told him it was mary-beth she'd fallen for. it broke his heart again to hear how hjappy ophelia was. to hear how much she wanted to be with mary-beth and not him.

it hurt his heart, it hurt his lungs. 

''javier, you there? or do you have your head up in the clouds?'' ophelia smiled, gently nudging her friend. his dark eyes went blank for a second, batting his long eyelashes and coming back to reality.  
''what? sorry, i was- sorry. what were you talking about?'' another cough erupted from his lungs, turning around to heave and throw up, nothing but mucus dribbling out. the mexican arched his back, hand balling into a fist, nails digging into his palm. he turned back around after wiping his mouth dry, turning back to the confused brunette in front of him.

''i'm sorry, mi vida. i think pearson's stew finally got to me,'' he tried joking, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. javier could feel the petals beginning to bubble up through his windpipe, coughing a few raspy coughs. ophelia looked worried, cocking her eyebrows and putting a hand on his shoulder.  
''javier, is there somethin' you ain't telling me?'' javier just shook his head, swallowing the bitter petals in his throat.

''i think she likes me back. she gave me a sweet peck on the cheek yesterday,'' ophelia continued, toying with her hands. her cheeks were rosy, giddy from talking about mary-beth. when was all of this brutal suffering going to end? javier wished he had a thousand gunshot wounds in him. they'd hurt less than this heartbreak. ophelia was stepping all over his heart, tearing it to shreds, shattering it and repeating the process. but she didn't know. she was innocent. she couldn't control her feelings. like javier couldn't control his.

seeing them at the campfire was the worst. when mary-beth would come to sit down next to ophelia, and the two would snuggle up next to each other. micah would sneer and say something homophobic, which would end in ophelia holding the barrel of her gun right between his eyes. if javier had the strength, he'd already be there before ophelia, defending her with a sharp knife to micah's throat.  
but he didn't have any energy anymore. he had a pile of hydrangea petals hidden away in his tent from all the times he'd throw up blood and petals during the night. he never slept through an entire night without waking up to retch and choke. wherever javier went, it felt like around the corner they'd be there. talking, laughing, giggling. kissing. everything javier wanted but couldn't have.

everything he wanted, all he wanted. the only things in life he really wanted, was to hold ophelia and call her his.

it all went to hell that one night.  
that one night where everyone was singing, having fun and enjoying themselves. ophelia held mary-beth close, dancing with her and giving her the softest kisses as if her lover were made out of porcelain. ophelia didn't see javier leave. didn't see him pick up his guitar, didn't see him move out through the thick foliage into the forest under the starry night sky.  
javier had been in so much pain. too much, too much seeing them together.  
he slumped down under a tree, gently strumming on his guitar, playing a sad melody. he couldn't sing anymore, his voice was too raspy and sore. when he tried, it sounded god awful. he let the guitar rest by his side after giving up, feeling another wave of petals about to come up.

this time it was different. it hit different, like there was something lodged in his throat. he opened his mouth, fingers reaching down to touch the soft petals wet from mucus. there was something else, and he couldn't breathe. he had to get it out, get it the fuck out, needed it to get out because he couldn't breathe- javier begun panicking, desperately trying to tear whatever was keeping him from breathing out of his throat. he pulled and ripped, and when javier felt it move- the bundle of petals move, he gasped for air. it didn't help, and he didn't know what to do. he was alone. javier escuella was dying. 

javier ripped again, feeling something odd in his chest. something tugging inside of him. nonetheless, javier kept pulling, because his life depended on it. the man felt something rip, pain stinging in his torso as he managed to pull out whatever it was stuck in his throat.

a full bundle of hydrangeas, blue stained deep red. it came out with a stem, chunks of flesh attached to the end of it.  
he-  
he ripped his lungs. he tore his lungs, and he felt blood bubbling up out of his mouth. running down his chin, staining everything a terrifying shade of red, making the small patch of facial hair on his chin sticky with his own blood. javier was choking, hydrangeas in hand, laying limp against the tree. the blood didn't stop pooling out, bubbling and running out of his mouth, past his cracked lips.  
a single tear ran down his face, his dark, mysterious eyes growing dull.  
life fading away, like a whistle through the dark. 

do not go gentle into that good night,  
old age should burn and rave at close of day;  
rage, rage against the dying of the light.

with one last disconnected inhale, javier lay limp. alone, scared and heartbroken in so many ways. nothing but a corpse ready to rot away.

**Author's Note:**

> everything im writing on here is just javier or javier and my oc but listen that's fine they're cute
> 
> ''do not go gentle into that good night,  
> old age should burn and rave at close of day;  
> rage, rage against the dying of the light.'' - do not go gentle into that goodnight, dylan thomas


End file.
